What do comparisons do?


I’m sure glad Lemuel’s mother isn’t my mother-in-law. She asked her son this question in Proverbs 31 verse 10:

Who can find a virtuous wife? I’ll rephrase for the purposes of this blog–are you a virtuous wife?

Wait-wait. Here’s the answer.

No one

Don’t believe me. Take this quiz and see how you match up against me.

  1. Does your husband trust in you? (vs.11)
  2. Because of your work, does he have no lack of gain? (vs. 11)
  3. Do you willingly work with your hands? (vs. 13)
  4. Do you rise while it is still night? (vs. 15)
  5. Are you a good business person and increase your profits? (vs. 16).
  6. Do you workout? Get stronger? (vs. 17)
  7. Do you make good marketing choices? (vs. 18)
  8. Do you work hard after working all day at a job? (vs. 19)
  9. Do you do charity work? (vs. 20)
  10. Do you clothe your family in high-end clothes? (vs. 21-22)
  11. Is your husband’s reputation enhanced because of your work behind the scenes? (vs. 23)
  12. Do you always speak wisely and kindly? (vs. 26)
  13. Do your kids brag about you? (vs. 28)
  14. Does your husband brag about you? (vs. 28)
  15. Do your own works praise you? (vs. 31)

My answers

✔ 1. I got this one because this is my second marriage, and I learned from the first one. (Wait–a divorce probably nullifies my check??) However, are you married to a controlling, jealous man? If so, then you probably need an ❌

❌ 2. Because of MY work? Wait. Does MY work need to make my husband prosper? What about me?

✔ 3. I do willingly work with my hands. Today I’m an author and glass artist. Before I retired, I taught. Although the job became more bureaucratic, I loved teaching. But wait! Do you have to clean public restrooms or the NYC subway? Do you have to bathe the elderly? Work in a landfill? If so, mark this with an ❌

❌ 4. Get up in the middle of the night? Ask my hiking friends. I won’t do this in order to hit the trails early. I’m certainly not going to do this to: a) clean houses b) hold a slow/stop sign for construction c) catch an early flight.

❌ 5. Look at my credit cards. Business and I don’t mix.

✔ 6. This I do. Maybe not because I’m health conscious. I’m probably AD/HD, and moving helps me focus.

❌ 7. See #5.

❌ 8. I sleep after working hard.

✔9. I used to. That should give me a ✔.

❌ 10. I look for sales and then brag about how cheap I was.

❌ 11. If I work behind the scenes, I’m getting the credit.

✔ 12. If the person I’m talking about is around, then yes. Otherwise, this is another ❌

✔ 13. Actually, once she’s done teasing me, my daughter does brag on me.

✔ 14. Yes. He’s my biggest cheerleader.

✔ 15. According to others, they do. According to me?

How did you do?

No matter how hard you work, there’s always going to be someone better or something you could’ve done better. I struggle with my attitude, with not doing enough.

The Bible is clear. She who compares herself to another isn’t wise (2 Cor. 10:12). Lemuel’s mother isn’t your judge.

Over the past month, we’ve looked at the ladies in Jesus’s genealogy: a “witch” killing off her husbands because of her “evil” (undefined and unproven); a prostitute; an illegal immigrant; a rape victim. All achieved a stature. All had gifts and calling.

Do not EVER compare yourself to another and find yourself wanting. If you are in Christ, you are growing and improving and working it the works God has called you. Believe in your gifts–whether you’re brilliant or low-IQ–whether you’re beautiful or plain–whether you are artistic, business savvy, a stay-at-home mom. If you are walking in Christ, active and holy, you are perfect.

Prodigal Lives

Pearl knows her sisters have it better. The sisters compare themselves to her. Who has the better life?

Comparisons lie.



  1. Carol, I agree: comparisons always lie because we don’t have full knowledge of the other person’s life, the hidden self-doubt, for example. Comparisons harm both parties when the comparison is known. One party feels superior, which feeds her ego. Yet, how much of that is a mask? The other party lives in self-doubt, believing she is never right, never competent, “less than” in every way imaginable. Being compared to an apparently “more than” person is debilitating to the nth degree.

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