Four Ways to Conquer Depression:The Fourth Step In Conquering Grief



I haven’t been online in a while.


I’m so enmeshed in the fourth stage of grief. Depression.

This should pretty much be all five steps of grief, but when reality sinks in, when all the times you want to contact your loved one, when regret, pain, embarrassment (If not dealing with death) sink in, depression can overwhelm you.

Depression sinks in when we understand the true extent of death or loss. We will never talk to our beloved brother. Mom isn’t going to know your goats had babies. The rape or incest or emotional abuse happened, and we must face those awful things that,

Depression doesn’t always involve tears. According to Washington State University, this is what depression looks and feels like:


can look like:                                                         can feel like:

sleep and appetite changes sadness
reduced energy despair
reduced social interest helplessness
reduced motivation hopelessness
crying disappointment
increased alcohol or drug use overwhelmed

So how do you move past these debilitating feelings?

  1. You are not alone. Deut. 31:8 says, The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” If God is for us, who can be against us?
  2. You can do all things through Christ. Phil. 4:13. Depression zaps your energy, makes you overwhelmed, and makes you want to cope through drugs or alcohol. (Do Not). But if we remember Christ is always with us, we can move one step at a time and move forward.
  3. Give thanks. 1 Thes. 5:18 commands us to give thanks. For me, I had my mother for many, many, many years. My brother graced the earth for 70. I thank God for those years. Then I looked around my home–my goats and chickens, my flowers and husband, too many vehicles and warm sunshine. I remember the good and thank God for them.
  4. Be with your social connections. Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 says, “Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. 11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
      1. How can you be sad when you’re laughing with friends?
      2. Friends can share your burden. An old proverb says, “A sorrow shared is halved.” Be candid. Be real. Everyone has experiences pain and can help carry your burden.


In short:
  • be thankful
  • be social
  • simply do something
  • know we’ve all shared similar experiences. Jesus will never leave you or forsake you.
If you missed previous posts, click the link:


Book three, Tangled Lives, comes out in July. You’ll want to read book one.

Meredith Jaynes, an artisan, cycles through the stages of grief and then she finds three girls abandoned by their parents. If she turns them over to CPS they’ll be separated. If she takes them? What the heck would she do with three waifs?

You’ll laugh, cry, and grow as you read this novel.




  1. Cleo Lampos says:

    Many people that I know deal with depression. It is not easy to solve, but you are on the road to recovery Thank you for your transparency.

    • Carol McClain says:

      I am definitely on the road to recovery–probably firmly in the acceptance phase. Thank you for your faithfulness.

  2. Carol, I’ve never been severely depressed, so I can’t empathize, but I do sympathize. I’ve missed your blogs as you work your way through your grief. I can only say, stick with your solutions and you’ll get through this with God’s help.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.