What Is Divorce?

"αθεοι" (atheoi), Greek for "th...
“αθεοι” (atheoi), Greek for “those without god”, as it appears in the Epistle to the Ephesians on the third-century papyrus known as “Papyrus 46” (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My ex-husband would leave me early in the evening so he could get into the bars before the cover charge went into effect. This, he said, was because we had so little money. Financed only with bravado, he’d shoot pool for drinks and come home drunk.

I was left with a child, no TV, poor radio reception, and a party line. My best friend was never home those evenings, so loneliness and lack of self-esteem flourished in my love-starved soul.

Neither of us were Christians, and I had never heard the admonition of Ephesians 5:25. ” Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” I never knew a man, or a woman, could love a spouse so intensely. Imagine God’s love for us: Jesus allowed himself to be whipped and mocked and crucified because he love us more than himself.

Because a man does not love a woman in this manner doesn’t mean she should head for divorce court. But a sacrificial love is the life blood of a strong marriage. Like the lack of blood, without a love that prefers the other above yourself, the marriage will necrotize and die.

Ephesians goes on to say in verse twenty-eight, “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” It doesn’t say to love yourself first. Love of self only comes with the love of your spouse.

In the same section of Ephesians, verse 22, women are simply admonished to “… submit to your husbands as to the Lord”. Submission is a dirty word in our society, but its meaning is misunderstood. It does not mean to kowtow to every whim of your spouse. It does not mean your husband becomes a god you must adore. However, as we explore the definition of Biblical marriage and divorce, we will see how submission to a godly husband aids in the protection of and devotion to a wife.

Day 150: And that's that.
Day 150: And that’s that. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Love, protection, respect, submission. These four elements lead to a strong marriage. Their absence is not a licence for divorce, but a steady absence of these elements will destroy a marriage. Partners may stay together because they believe divorce is unbiblical–however, divorce is more than legal papers dissolving the union.

Divorce is the absence of love, protection, respect and submission. You can still be married and yet be divorced.

What is marriage to you? What is your definition of divorce? Do you have questions you’d like to explore? Leave a comment.


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