The Wolf Head Scandal

grey wolfImage via Wikipedia     Everyone loves a good scandal, so how do we create one? We are all familiar with Dutch Shultz, but gangsters like him are either in short supply or unwanted in our communities–unless we stuff them in the prisons that decorate our outskirts of our lovely villages.

     In 1815 we discovered a great scheme that perhaps we could turn to good use today–after all, our politicians believe the ends justify the means.

     Way back in Malone/Bangor/Chateaugay’s beginnings, we turned quite a profit off the “noxious” wolves and this scandal made Franklin County notorious in New York State.
     Prior to 1815 the state paid us approximately $1,000 per year in bounty for wolves, all we had to supply were the heads. (What government office wants the whole carcass rotting in the file cabinets?) From 1815-1820 that sum jumped to $55,269. This solved our financial problems back then–perhaps we can resurrect one in the same spirit.

     How did our forefathers alchemize wolf heads?

     1. When out of wolves–they’d been known to substitute dog heads. Okay, I know this appalls many of my readers as we do not condone chopping up Fido. A deer head had been documented as a good substitute. Who knew: deer/dog/wolf–what’s the difference?

     2. If they only have one wolf head, they passed it out the window to their buddy. While the clerk still filled in the document for that head, a buddy would carry it back in and voila, more cash for the coffers.

     3. Everyone kept quiet because no one had been prosecuted for the crimes.

Maybe this is a way to lower our taxes–after all: 1. we learn from experience  2. our legislatures aren’t shamed by wrong doing.

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  1. Thanks, Linda, don't know if you get email follow-ups, but I've decided on humor from here on out. I'm going to write commercial novels capitalizing on humor–and that'll be my blog.

  2. Linda says:

    Great article…love the sarcastic tone…also informative! That is your voice…sarcasm!

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