How Holding a Grudge Hurts You
Carol McClain
I read the names of attendees at a recent two-day festival, one with stellar book sales. The name of one group I once belonged to stopped me. Excitement fled, and a heaviness filled my spirit. My joyful spirit turned sodden. Not them!
Doesn’t matter. I’m not connected with them any longer. I squared my shoulders and determined to ignore the entire group who so grievously hurt me. Alas … I’ll never overcome their wrongs!
On day one of the festival, two new members manned my nemeses’ booth. No harm in chatting with them. So I put on my godliness, and introduced myself. Nice people.
Day two arrived. Today, one woman who had totally irked me the entire time I belonged to the organization arrived. Never would I greet her. I was the one wronged. I squared my shoulders, raised my chin. I’d sell a boatload of my books and show her!
God nudged me to talk to her.
Nope.
Not I.
Nudge, nudge, nudge. God, who never gives up, finally knocked sense into me. I walked across the room and said hi to my former group member.
She looked at me and squinted.
I introduced myself.
“Carol? Carol? … Oh, yes, now I remember.”
We talked–a pleasant catch-up–until I had to return to my booth for another customer.
For years, I carried my grievances against this group that never gave me a thought. They lived lives filled with joys and tragedies and dreams both realized and dashed. While I was hardly a memory to them, I carried a heavy burden for years.
Carry grudses weighs you down with needless burdens.
What does holding grudges accomplish?
- Physically–It weakens your immune system.
- Emotionally–increases mental decline–not anything this author needs more of.
- Spiritually–blocks your relationship with God and his forgiveness.
Holding grudges only burdens you.
None of bitterness’s consequences is ever worth the price. None of the above hurts your enemy. None of the above improves your life.
These are only three ills. Google can give you a more complete list. But I tell you from experience, grudges ruin (or less dramatically, hurt) your life. In this case–only mine. However, think about how grudges destroyed families, churches, and friendships. Are they worth it?
15 See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many (Heb. 12:15 NIV).
Pearl, taken to live with her grandfather, knows she is not loved. Her half-sisters, left behind, have the good life. So, despite her grandfather’s rules, she connects with her addict father. When her grandfather dies, life with her father leads her down a dangerous path.
What can she do? Her foster mother wouldn’t want her. Her sisters live perfect lives. Bitterness welds her to life in Florida and leads down dangerous paths.
Prodigal Lives illustrates the consequences of grudges and the redemption of Jesus.
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Author Carol McClain
Ouch!!!!! This blog brings back all the times I’ve said the same things to myself–to no avail. Her name is Judith, whom I knew in Chapel Hill. She wrote historical (1770s) romances that contained more sexual details than I would normally read. I bought them (two), read them, and posted Amazon reviews. She wrote two Regencies, which I bought, read, and posted reviews. She wrote three contemporary mid-western books, which I bought, read, and posted reviews. When I published my first book–actually an anthology with my CH writers’ group–Judith politely told me she didn’t have enough money to buy my book. We’re no longer in touch so I don’t know if she’s still publishing, simply because I won’t check Amazon or her website. I seriously doubt she’s given a thought to me for several years. I don’t believe I’m still holding a grudge, but this blog brought back my initial hurt.
I understand completely. Bitterness is a poison we drink. It does nothing to our adversary. Thank you for your thoughtful, faithful response.